Written by Michael Balton
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Friday, 27 January 2012

image for Cher Fails to Prove She's Not Dead -- Burial Set for Tuesday
No relation?

Hollywood, California -- Former superstar Cher has fallen victim to a bogus Tweet, which announced that she had passed away last Thursday. It appears that the 65-year-old singer/actress has no way of proving that she is indeed still alive.

"Cher hasn't done anything worthwhile since giving permission to Chastity to become Chaz," said a leading film producer who asked to remain anonymous. "Now that's entertainment.

"But as far as her own music and movie career is concerned, Cher has been code blue for years."

A publicist speaking on behalf of Cher protested that today's reality stars are granted celebrity status without any significant achievements or noticeable talent.

"Oh, I didn't realize that Cher's last name is Kardashian," the producer responded.

Upon hearing of her own untimely demise, Cher checked herself into Mount Sinai Hospital for tests. But the medical staff there kept busy finding ways to ignore the former star.

"We've moved on to acts like Madonna and Gaga," a hospital spokeswoman said. "It's time for Cher to move on too."

Cher has requested an open coffin, according to her publicist, "so that her few remaining fans can enjoy her haunting beauty until the very end. I guess this beats skiing into a tree."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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