Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 26 January 2012

image for Demi Moore Says Her Skinny Look Is Not Due To Anorexia But To A Damn Tape Worm
A photo of a human tapeworm that can devour 900 calories per minute. (Photo courtesy of Kirstie Alley).

LOS ANGELES - Demi Moore is resting quietly in her 13th floor hospital room at L.A.'s Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital.

Moore was taken to the hospital after falling down in her backyard while she was playing a game of croquet with two of her three daughters Scout and Tallulah.

The eldest daughter Rumer had gone to the La Brea Tar Pits Diner with two of her friends.

According to Margarita Mixx of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune the 49-year-old actress will be staying at the hospital for a few days while doctors conduct various tests including pap smears; vision tests; ear, nose, and throat coordination tests; an HPT (Hospital Pregnancy Test), and a Rorschach Test.

Miss Mixx spoke with one of Moore's nurses, whom she identified as Tularosa "Shotsy" Gettysburg. "Shotsy" as she insists on being called, told the 5T reporter that when one first sees Moore it would appear that she is suffering from anorexia nervosa.

But Ms. Moore, who recently filed from divorce from her boy toy husband Ashton Kutcher, said that she is not anorexic and blames the tremendous weight loss on the stress that her womanizing soon-to-be-ex-husband has put her through.

She further added that a lot of the problem stems from the fact that she also has one hell of a tape worm.

When asked how in the world she could possibly know that, she replied that she recently flew down to Lake Charles, Louisiana where she had consulted with one of the nation's leading voodoo women Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette.

Madam Lottie Jo assured her that she definitely has a tape worm and that to the best of her knowledge it is about 14 months old.

According to Mixx two other things that have caused Demi Moore a tremendous amount of stress are one, the fact that so many people referred to her marriage as a May-December marriage, and two, that nearly everyone including her youngest daughter Tallulah refers to her as a "Cougar."

The Tinsel Town Times Tribune will stay with the story and bring you any further developments in the Demi Moore - Tape Worm saga.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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