Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

image for Demi Dumps Lovelace, Parties with Rumer, Claims Exhaustion
No porn star role for Demi.

All in a day for bad ass, evocative, and aging film star like Demi Moore as she pulls out her role on the movie "Lovelace", parties all night with her daughter Rumer, then prepares to enter hospital to be treated for exhaustion.

Playing dramatic roles from a widowed wife, to stripper, to military lawyer, the 49 year old Moore was excited to have been considered for the movie Lovelace, but reportedly less than thrilled to be offered the part of women's rights activist, Gloria Steinem.

Still feeling she had the acting chops and the body to pull off a roll as a 19 year old porn star, Moore took a pass on the "older lady" role of Steinem. "Demi is still hot", said a robot-like Ashton Kutcher with Demi's finger pointing towards his nose. "She IS Linda Lovelace and nobody is forcing me to say that".

Reportedly drowning her sorrows after the Lovelace Movie debacle, Demi decided to party hearty with 21 year old daughter, Rumer Willis, who from an age perspective, was more suited to the role. The evening's activities ran late, which also shed some doubt on whether or not Ms. Moore is actually suffering from exhaustion, as her publicist suggests.

"I don't know", said bar patron and local rapper, Icy Foot Jones, "That Demi chick looked pretty energetic to me last night, she even got pissed off and called me a dummy when I tried to say hello". Mr. Jones was apparently unclear as to the pronunciation of her name. Moore had grabbed his shirt collar and yelled out the phonetic, "DE-MEE". Jones added, "Whatever player, based on the way she tossed me around, she don't look exhausted to me".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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