Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 24 January 2012

image for Demi Lovato and Demi Moore To Star as Lindsay and Dina Lohan In "Oodles of Freckles - The Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan"
Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan relaxing in her Venice Beach mansion Lucky LohanLand. (Photo by Ryan Seacrest).

HOLLYWOOD - Singing sensation Demi Lovato has just announced that she will soon be starring in the Lions Face Films production of Oodles of Freckles - The Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan.

The motion picture is being directed and produced by Charleen Belle Pinnzucker who last year was named one of the Best Female Director/Producers of the Decade by The Hollywood Federated Coalition Guild of Motion Picture Films.

The movie will also star Demi Moore as LiLo's mother Dina Lohan and Brenda Song as Lindsay's on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again lesbian girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

The award-winning Pinnzucker has directed such noted motion pictures as Snow White and The Horny Vampire Hunters From Hungary, The Wizard of Oz 5 - Dorothy Gets Her Corn Shuck Patted Down, and The Naked PMs'ing Lesbian Vampires From Hell.

It was during the filming of The Horny Vampire Hunters From Hungary that rumors began circulating throughout Tinsel Town that Pinnzucker and the film's leading man Johnny Depp were having an affair.

Depp, who starred as Ali Gladiola, leader of the band of horny vampire hunters, denied any romantic involvement with Pinnzucker. He pointed out that although he did find Charleen Belle to be quite erotically sexy, and titillating sensuous, that he has always made it a point to never mix movie making with lovemaking.

Pinnzucker simply offered up a whole lot of "No comments."

The Lohan film will cover the period from the time little Lindsay is three weeks old and utters her very first word "Gimme" to the present when LiLo does a lot of damage control, crawfishing (back pedaling), denial, and your basic 'I did not steal that (blank) spiel.'

Demi Lovato told her best friend Selena Gomez that she is very excited to be playing the highly dysfunctional starlet. She then disclosed that she has always admired Lindsay except of course for the drinking, the all night carousing, the recreational drugs, and the incessant lawbreaking.

Meanwhile Demi Moore says that she is really looking forward to portraying the motherly Dina and trying to forget about her womanizing soon-to-be-ex-husband Ashton Kutcher.

Moore said she looks forward to portraying Dina Lohan who has tried to lead her daughter on the path of righteousness, happiness, and non-stealing, but, as of yet, to no damn avail (her words).

The movie will be filmed in Smell-O-Vision in Mobile, Alabama which bears a striking resemblance to Venice Beach, California.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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