The Daily Mail has scooped todays Piffle Prize with yet another astonishingly meaningless headline. In fact, the above headline is merely an abridged version, edited to fit on Twitter. In all its gory glory, the headline reads:
"That's not your normal workout gear! Rihanna hits the cross trainer...wearing just a TINY white bikini."
In fairness, the article did carry some pics of Rihanna in a selection of bikinis, so it wasn't entirely misleading.
But it was meaningless, and hardly news.
Rihanna is young, sexy, successful, rich, and she's on holiday in Hawaii, so it's hardly surprising that she's going to pose for holiday snaps in a bikini with her girlfriends. What would probably have been news would have been if she'd posed in a bikini in Siberia, or on a Bering Sea crab ship.
That may have been remotely interesting. From a mental health point of view.
Second place goes to The Sun - who will probably pull the article if they see this - with:
"Man ate popcorn 6,700 years ago"
In Peru, apparently. Some archaeologist discovered this earth-shattering bombshell, although the man in question wasn't named, and in the judges' opinion a 6,700 year old story hardly qualifies as breaking news.
Third place goes to The Burnley Express - which has been performing well lately in the Piffle stakes - with:
"Roy 'Chubby' Brown Returns to Colne"
Apparently the potty mouthed comic is doing a show in Colne, which is a small town just down the road from Burnley and Nelson, infamous for its tarmaccing community's drink fuelled exploits. It's hardly news though. Chubby Brown fans would presumably be aware that their hero is coming to town anyway, so the item is either an advertisement or a complete waste of time.
There were no Piffle Prizes awarded Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, because the judges couldn't be arsed.
More as we get it.