Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 19 January 2012

image for American Idol Kicks Off Season 11 With 10,000 Hopefuls in Savannah, Georgia
The eventual winner of American Idol will receive $1 million. (Photo courtesy of Justin Bieber).

SAVANNAH, Georgia - Season 11 of American Idol kicked off in the Southern city of Savannah, Georgia.

The town nestled on the South Carolina border is noted for its delicious tasting peaches, it deliciously lovely Southern belles, and for being the place where noted explorer Ponce De Leon once spent a week taking a break from searching for the world famous Fountain of Youth.

According to Simon Shindlebocker who is one of the producers of American Idol, the three AI judges Steven "Lips" Tyler, Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez, and Randy "The Dawg" Jackson heard over 10,000 American Idol hopefuls.

A total of 42 were given yellow tickets to Hollywood. One ticket went to 24-year-old Amy Brumfield of Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

Amy lives with her boyfriend out in the woods in a tent. She told the judges that they are poor and that they rely on nature to provide them with their food [i.e. squirrel inners mixed with tree bark, woodchuck-on-a-stick, butterflies for desert, and rainwater].

Amy is a pretty good singer and Steven dubbed her "The Singing Dixie Tent Girl."

Another judge favorite is a sister and brother from Murfreesboro, Tennessee, who sang separately; Schyler Dixon, 16, and her 19-year-old brother Colton.

Colton performed last year and was not scheduled to perform this year but the judge's made Schyler bring her brother in from the waiting area.

He blew them away with a resounding rendition of Tchaikovsky's "The 1812 Overture" with lyrics that he wrote himself. Schyler also did very well singing a song by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir titled, "Housewives All Over The Place."

And the National Basketball Association was well represented by the stunningly sexy Brittany Kerr of Charlotte, North Carolina. The 24-year-old beauty got "Yes'es" from "The Dawg" and from "Lips" before she even sang a note.

Steven whispered under his breath to J.Lo "Say Jenny, Miss Kerr is one fine looking muchacha, Mmmm-Mmmm!"

Lopez hit Tyler on his head with her pencil and told him to put his tongue back in his mouth and to see about getting his happy lap to settle back down.

And perhaps the best performance out of the 10,000 performers came from a good old Scotty McCreery type country boy from Leesburg, Georgia, who sang and played the guitar on the song "You Can Kiss My Lips For 100 Dollars In Ca$h" by Ke$ha.

In a related story. Jennifer Lopez, 42, has made it very clear to Randy and Steven that they are never to mention her boy toy Caspar Smart, 24, or the fact that he is 18 years younger than her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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