Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 19 January 2012

image for Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Want To Adopt The E-Trade Baby
The E-Trade baby shown in his very first commercial which was for 'Itch Away Baby Powder."

DALLAS - The past few months have not been very good for the tallest of the Kardashian sisters, 5-foot-10-inch Khloe, and her husband Dallas Mavericks player Lamar Odom.

First in early December Lamar was suddenly traded from the Los Angeles Lakers to the Mavericks. And that really put a kink in the filming of his and his wife's Los Angeles reality show Khloe & Lamar.

Then Khloe developed those unsightly blemishes on her tongue which tongue specialists in Boston are still trying to figure out what in the world was up with that.

Khloe did express to Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo that the doctors had eliminated her power drink made with rutabagas, okra seeds, blue M&M's, and pretzels as being the cause.

And then the most recent incident involves Lamar being seen at a Washington D.C. topless bar, The North Pole Strip Lounge with no less than three pole dancers sitting on his ample lap.

Odom at first simply stated that the girls had all merely slipped and landed on him. He later changed his story when a photo of him welcoming all three girls with open arms appeared in The Cucamonga Chit-Chat Chronicle.

Reports are that Khloe is still furious and is being encouraged by her meddling sister Kim to consider hiring noted attorney Gloria Allred and taking Lamar to the cleaners.

Khloe's other sister, the non-meddling Kourtney, meanwhile stated to Bedroom Pillow Talk that Kim really needs to mind her own business and return her soon-to-be-ex-husband Kris Humphries $2 million wedding ring.

Kris Kardashian-Jenner, mother of the Kardashian sisters has suggested to Khloe that perhaps her and Lamar should consider adopting a baby to help bring them together.

A close friend of Khloe's, who really did not want her name revealed, said that Khloe and Lamar are agreeable to doing that and that they have already contacted the proper authorities about adopting the E-Trade baby that appears in their commercials.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: In the interest of naming names when names should be named, the close friend's name is Catalina "The Beer Babe" Balderwash, 28, an unemployed pedicurist from Avocado Heights.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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