Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

image for George Lucas Retires from Hollywood, Plans First Art Film
Indiana Jones, Space Traveling Hobo

Following an announcement from George Lucas that he has retired from Hollywood and all the action and fantasy-adventure movies he's best known for, Lucas is reportedly working on his first independent art film from a secluded ranch in the Grand Teton Mountains.

Tentatively titled, "The Transient", Lucas will create a timely social and economic story around a central hobo character, traveling from place to place, looking for work and shelter as he roams. "In space", adds assistant screenwriter, Roger Houston.

Though Lucas will no longer need to answer to other studio investors, he apparently did not stroll too far from his fantasy-adventure roots. "It's a great central character based on Indiana Jones, but from the planet Vega. He can't find permanent work as a Nerf Herder on Vega, so he's forced to stow away on Tachuka grain transports to other planets like Bantha-9 and Winchutta Minor", says Houston. "Winchutta is where Jones meets Princess Wanta and discovers his special purpose. I don't want to give away too much of the plot there, but let's just say that something definitely grows when Indiana and Wanta get together".

Houston went on to describe several elements from the working story line that include sidekick characters like a teenage male robot that doubles as a garbage disposal and a nose picking, hostile creature covered in red hair that looks amazingly like Danny Bonaduce. The antagonist in story will be King Doomie from Winchutta Minor, who makes all efforts to ensure that Jones' special purpose comes nowhere near his daughter, Wanta Doomie.

"I still don't want to give too much away, but it will actually be a touching human story of hardship during difficult social and economic times", SAYS Houston, adding, "In space, with aliens, galactic travel, robots and a something really special about Jones' recently found purpose".

The small budget art film will be shot eclectically in black and white, with THX Surround Sound and shown in IMAX 3D, in specially designed underwater theaters. Patrons will be provided Scuba Tanks and 3-D goggles, though original plans for food and beverage service were found to be quite messy and untenable. Ticket prices are expected to start at $1,195.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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