Written by Deafo
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Friday, 13 January 2012

Warner Bros are to begin casting for an as of yet unnamed biopic recounting US Marine's liberating Afghanistan from its tyrannical rule by urinating on the corpses of fallen members of presiding Taliban forces.

The movie, to be directed by Francis Ford Coppola, is predicted to be a box office smash across the country, with Americans eager to see their collective penis size recreated to vastly inflated proportions.

Former US Marine, Charlton Fess, said although he had seen similar scenes throughout his career, he couldn't wait to sit down with a bucket of pop corn to relive the good old days of relieving oneself over a dead man.

He told reporters, 'For our children's sake, it is of vital importance that such events are recorded for historical posterity.'

'They must know the force for good that is the American Army.'

'The that the Marine in question urine expressed was done so with the utmost respect for the Afghan people.'

'Who would you rather piss on you - the people you voted for, or the people blowing up your child's school?'

Hollywood debate has centered on the exact dimensions of the US member responsible for discharging itself all over its victim.

'Rumour has it was well in excess of 12 inches, like bigger than a Subway sub.'

'Probably just as tasty too.'

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