Daily Mail editors were apparently fuming today, as rival red top rag, The Sun, pipped them for today's Piffle Prize, with a story about Pixie Lott, quoted in the above headline.
Thus preventing the Mail from making it a three in a row hat trick.
Apparently, the Essex girl has released a new CD with the title: Kiss The Stars, and has made a promotional video for the song, whilst wearing a new outfit, and sporting a new hairdo.
Sensational news indeed.
"It isn't often that an attractive young lady dons a new outfit and sports a new hairdo," said Piffle Prize judge, and Skoob Entertainment News Corp supremo, Buffty Ginslinger. "This is the sort of news that the world craves. I mean, could you imagine the international repercussions if Pixie Lott had made a new video, wearing an old outfit? With an old hairdo? It doesn't bear thinking about."
At which point, Ginslinger collapsed in a drunkenly slaughtered heap into the gutter, and was transported by ambulance to the A&E Department of a central London hospital.
Somewhat surprisingly, the Burnley Express beat the red tops to second spot with: 'Burnley Slimming Guru Meets Comedian Jason Manford'
Which must have been a thrilling experience for the slimming guru, and an 'I don't know why I bother with this bollocks' moment for Jason Manford.
In an uncharacteristic loss of form, the DM was pipped for third place by the Daily Star.
'Jordan To The Rescue'
So reassuring to see that the DS continues its sycophantic relationship with the glamour model turned horsewoman, who apparently is prepared to offer advice to women who have been affected by the PIP breast implant scandal. Note: No money, just advice.
Reassuring to know that good ole Katie P is concerned about the welfare of like minded surgically inclined young women. Despite having her own brain swapped with an industrial grade silicone transplant on the very day she reached puberty. Allegedly.
"Why do you people do this kind of thing?" exploded PR Guru Max Dickhead.
"Because we're angry, and because we can," replied an SEN reporter.
More as we get it.