WEST HOLLYWOOD - Noted actor Warren Beatty talking about his biological daughter Kathlyn, 20, who now is known as Stephen Ira Beatty, says that he has not been this confused since back in 1990, when he was dating that flaky, fruit cup Madonna.
The Bonnie & Cylde star said that he and his wife Annette Bening, who starred in such movie classics as Bugsy, Running With Scissors, and the sequel Prancing With Pliers, told Tittle Tattle Tonight that they have gone into the Internet and looked up Stephen Ira's dysfunction and are trying to make sense of it all.
Stephen Ira has now informed her/his mom and dad that he is dating a guy he met at The Enchanted Enchilada in La Habra Heights. The man's name is McIntosh "Biceps" Higglerhouse, 36, who works as a security guard at a topless club in Redondo Beach.
Beatty, who once claimed that he had slept with 9,871 women, told Pico de Gallo that he has no idea where his wife went wrong. De Gallo asked him if he was really placing all of the blame on his wife.
Warren grinned and asked, "Pico my amigo, do you see my wife anywhere?"
"No sir." came the reply.
"Well then I am placing all of the blame on Mrs. Beatty AKA Annette Bening.
De Gallo smiled and said "Okay, I get it Señor Beatty, out of sight out of mind and you will put the blame-ola on Señora Beatty."
The 3T reporter asked Beatty what his daughter slash soon-to-be-son was doing. Warren replied that Stephen was attending Left Coast College in Carpinteria where he is majoring in Early Aztecan Amateur Sports.
The actor then added that on the weekends Stephen goes out with his friends who are all activists who are fighting for the right to bear bows and arrows in their pursuit of the dreaded nocturnal poisonous bullfrogs of West Covina.
FOOTNOTE: Pico de Gallo stated that Warren Beatty told him that he has offered Stephen Ira $200,000 to drop the proposed sexual reassignment surgery and return to being sweet, kind, caring, semi-masculine Kathlyn. Beatty said that Stephen Ira told him that he would not even consider it for anything less than $4 million.