Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 11 January 2012

image for Daily Mail Headline: "Is This Cher Lloyd's Engagement Ring?" Wins Inaugural Piffle Prize
Some Swagger Jagger Pictured About Two Years Ago

When it comes to meaningless headlines and insubstantial non-news stories, the British tabloid press are unsurpassed, as The DM proved today by asking the question referred to in the headline of this article.

Indeed, the Mail came out on top of today's usual pile of rubbish with this non-starter, and in so doing scooped today's Piffle Prize.

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock had been pencilled in to present the award - a pebble off Brighton Beach with an image of Eric Cantona's arse etched into it - but the Mail couldn't be bothered to turn up for the presentation.

The judges awarded the coveted gong to the DM on the grounds that most people wouldn't really be interested in whether the Malvern songstress was getting engaged or not. Much less to some bloke who nobody's ever heard of.

Cher, a former X-Factor contestant hasn't really been hitting the headlines for some time now, and her latest CD, Swagger Jagger apparently failed to take the world by storm, so why the DM ran with the story indicates either poor editorial judgement, or simply that there isn't much of any interest going on in the world to keep the hacks busy.

Second place in today's Piffle Prize went a piece about some woman who's had her baby photographed with a bunch of different celebrities, which is quite sad really, and third place went to an article relating that there's been heavy snowfall in the Alps. No surprises there then.

More as we get it.

Anyone with future Piffle Prize news is advised to send it in to Skoob News Corp, where our crack editorial team will probably just bin it without a second glance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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