Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 6 January 2012

image for Pippa Middleton was to have been the face of the PIP breast implant, bwahaha...
Jelly mould templates created this pair

London - The ad campaign for the Poly Implant Prothese mammary jellies has gone on the wobble after Pippa Middleton flip-flopped over contractual terms.

Secret organic ingredients thought to be Medusa jellyfish hybrids, have been hit hard by EU austerity phishing quotas making the $1 million per annum 'ambassadorship' of the breast implants er, daft.

"Such rotten beastly luck, Mummy!" was La Middleton's sob story today as news of the PIP contract flop broke.

The whole point of the now tragic campaign had been the diversion of a 'massive global obsession' with Pippa's buttock implants which made their debut at Westmonster Abbey at the royal wedding last year.

But much like the implants themselves a sudden and unexplained leakage saw Pippa's ambitions dashed as national revulsion with the dodgy boob fillers went viral.

This evening a National Association of Boob Surgeons spokesperson said the jelly in the implants was not of medical grade and was only licensed for use in mattresses, life buoys and recreational trampolines.

Some brand new PR opportunity is bound to come Pippa's way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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