Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Friday, 6 January 2012

image for New Film Shows Thatcher's Weaker Side
A typical British breakfast

A new film hits the cinema this week which aims to portray former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in a new light. The film, called "The Iron Deficiency Lady" shows a more human side than the public were used to seeing during her 12 years in power.

In one scene, Thatcher is shown meeting US President Ronald Reagan for the first time, and she appears very nervous and weak on her feet. She stuffs her face with Monster Munch crisps in a desperate binge, leaving sticky orange streaks all over her fingers and face, and crumbs on her blue dress. Actress Meryl Streep, who plays the PM, had to practise the scene many times before getting it right. Fellow actors commented on how cheesy her breath smelt afterwards, which funnily enough is something that Reagan also commented on when he first met Thatcher.

Later in the film, Thatcher meets the USSR's President Gorbachev but cannot greet him properly because she has fallen asleep with her hand trapped inside a packet of Cheesy Wotsits. She wakes up, apologises and after stuffing a handful of the cheesy snacks into her mouth, she offers some of them to him. The Russian Premier is fascinated that the British have managed "to infuse the flavour of fine cheeses into the humble potato", and he begs the PM to tell him how they are made. It is a little known fact that the KGB spent most of the 1980s attempting to steal the recipes for Wotsits and Monster Munch, but without success.

The film ends on a high note, showing how Britain was transformed by Thatcher's brilliance and her unwavering support for the potato snack industry. In 2011, crisps were responsible for 97% of the UK's industrial output, and are now the staple foodstuff of British people. This is all thanks to Margaret Thatcher.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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