Written by Karen Fish
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Topics: Pope Benedict

Friday, 6 January 2012

image for Pope Benedict in Alzheimers Names Kendall Jenner and Kylie Kardinals

It's hard to keep up with the Kardashians Kris, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner. Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner just rocketed to the top of the nekts generation when Pope Benedict XVI named 22 new Cardinals today including Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and Stan Musial. Stan Musial played 22 seasons with the St. Louis Cardinals.

Eighteen of the new Cardinals are under 80 meaning that when Pope Benedict bites it they will be eligible to enter the secret conclave to vote for the new Holy Father. Stan Musial is 91 so he will not be eligible to vote. It's hard to be infallible with alzheimers but Pope Benedict XVI showed that even with alzheimers disease he can break barriers by appointing teenage women and baseball players to the Holy See.

The seamen dripping from the dead dog's eye in the Strait of Hormuz filled the December sky with memories of Lady Di. The Cardinals, the red hatted 'Princes and Princesses of the Church' are Pope Benedict's closest aides and when the Holy Father passes on he will surely ascend into Heaven for his enormous contributions to world peace and exonerating the Jewish and Roman people for the death of Jesus Christ in his new book 'Jesus of Nazareth Holy Week From the Entrance into Jerusalem to the Resurrection'.

It was the 'Christ Killer' label that Pope Benedict XVI just removed from the Jewish people which caused 50 million Christian Germans to stage the 'War Against the Jews' WWII in which 6 million Jewish and 20 million Christian lives were lost. Asked for comment Kendall Jenner said "Kylie and I are really excited about the red hats. Mom said that they will become part of the 'Kardashian Kollection' and that we will all be wearing them on 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians.' Kris Humphries has been given permission by the NBA to wear the official Cardinal's red hat on the bench during the warmups only.

Kim Kardashian said "I'm glad the Vatican did not hold my divorce or my sex tape against my sisters. It's a new world now and we're all eagerly waiting the arrival of Jesus Christ on his white horse from Heaven to personally greet Kendall and Kylie. We're all really hoping to have him on the show. Can you imagine the ratings? Kendall said to me: 'My initials backwards sound like those of the Messiah.' Kendall and Kylie are excellent in school, and the aisle at St. Peter's Basilica is being turned into a runway for the launch of our Kollection which will be the warm up act for the landing of the Messiah. Every supermodel is clawing every other supermodel's eyes out to get into that show. Kendall asked if this meant that she couldn't kiss boys anymore and I said 'Don't be ridiculous, we're the Kardashians! You can kiss your boyfriends in the Popemobile."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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