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Friday, 6 January 2012

image for Television Talent Show Transfer Window Opens

January is always a busy time of year for tv talent shows as the increasingly written about 'transfer window' opens and top telly shows scramble to secure the services of a established judge or rising star.

The first big name transfer of the new window was Strictly Come Dancing judge and former winner, Alesha Dixon. The occasional singer replaced pensioner Arlene Phillips, who can now be seen begging outside Shepherds Bush tube station on Saturday nights. Dixon has left the British Corporation of Broadcasters to join the ITV show Britain Has Talent for an undisclosed fee.

Joining her at the table will be hugely popular Bitty Britain star, who turned down a judging role at the Olympic swimming 100 metre dash to join the Simon Cowell backed project.

Outgoing judge Michael McIntyre has told reporters he will be busy 'comedying' this year and is too busy to 'do judging'. David Hasslehoff was last seen leaving an off-license in the south of wales at 11am three days ago.

A new show starting on the BBC called 'The Voice' will offer new opportunities for judges. Cheryl 'Tweedy Geordie' Cole was considered but is rumoured to be leaving judging for her own interviewing chat show. She told a friend "If Alan Carr can interview anybody can"

The BBC were keen on antipodean singer Kylie Minogue to follow her sister into judging, but her pay claims were thought to be too high, and instead auntie has secured the services of Jessie J, who comes very cheaply but highly recommended after judging the Women's Institute cake baking in Guildford last summer.

Former Baby spice now mother spice Emma Bunty has departed her judging role on Dancing On Ice and could well be turning up on another judging table soon, but with Dixon on Britain's Has Talent, Bunty could be tipped for an end of year role on The X Factor, replacing the occasionally absent without leave American judge Kelly Rowlover.

Channel Five could launch their own talent show 'So You Think You Can Judge' where hopeful young judge wannabees attempt to launch their judging career. The talent show transfer window closes in two weeks time so expect an announcement 'any day' said a spoof sub editor asked to fill 400 words on a Friday afternoon when he was actually bursting to get down the pub for happy hour.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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