Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 5 January 2012

image for Peaches Geldof to name new baby daughter Nectarine
'Oranges are not the only, er, fruit'

London - A daft trend started by Gwynnie Paltrow naming her daughter Apple now sees newly pregnant Peaches Geldof pick a fruity name for her firstborn, due this August.

Publicists for the be-tattooed peroxide vamp said today she and her fiance, S.C.U.M. band vocalist Tom Cohen, were utterly thrilled and would call the baby Nectarine if it's a girl.

Also under consideration are 'Clementine' - after Sir Winston Churchill's wife, 'Cherry' (as in Vanilla), 'Plum' (as in Sykes) and Lemon (as in US 'lemon' laws about dodgy hybrids).

Pictures of the happy couple posted today show beaming 22 year-old mother-to-be Peaches clinging on to her handsome beau the pupils of whose eyes are mysteriously tinged with red.

"He's got that haunted look of a young guy just told the results of the pee test," celebwatch magazine LA HagFagSlagMag.con sources commented today.

"Maybe she's just told him it'll be 'Kumquat' if the baby's a boy, heheh."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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