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Wednesday, 4 January 2012

image for Rumours of 'cracks' in the royal marriage after Kate hears Russel Brand single again
By Royal Appointment?

Sometimes even the life of a princess is not enough for some girls, and a source close to Wills and Kate confirmed that the ex Miss Middleton's 'heart skipped a beat' when she heard that wild child and botherer of pensioners' answerphones, Russel Brand, was single again after his split from Katy Perry.

"Kate loves being a princess - what girl wouldn't?" said a close friend (Ethel Pickleduck, 27) "But well - Russell - that's a different kettle of fish isn't it?

"Kate saw all his shows at the Edinburgh Festival when she was studying in the city, and was even rumoured to have dickied the doo with Brandy Pandy.

"After a while the Royal lifestyle could take it's toll - Charles talking to plants, senile old Phil the Greek insulting all the foreign ladies in waiting and Camilla half-inching all the head of state official gifts - it really is a freaky family.

"Old 'Rusty Cock' and a life in the states could be a fast way out..."

For the Essex boy comedian it could be the Kate/Katy hat-trick following his marriage to Perry and his one night bang with stick insect cocaine user Katey Moss.

Russell wasn't returning calls when the spoof called him (we left a voicemail), but he has allegedly told friends he wants a go on Pippysqeak first.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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