Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 4 January 2012

image for Angelina Jolie Announces That She Is Pregnant - Brad Pitt Says He Will Not Be Dumping Her After All
Angelina Jolie is pregnant with her seventh child. (Photo by George Clooney).

PROVENCE, France - Angelina Jolie has just learned that she and her partner of seven years Brad Pitt will soon be having their seventh child.

Jolie, 36, had recently been having some major bouts with intestinal rumblings as they call it in New Jersey and so she called and scheduled a doctors appointment.

She went in and had her pap smeared and the results clearly showed that she was 3 months, 2 weeks, 5 days, 4 hours, and 37 minutes pregnant.

The new pregnancy procedure can actually pinpoint the time of actual conception to within 35 seconds. The device, which is called the Pregnancy Poker XY-9, was developed by a team of Danish dentists, yes amazing isn't it; dentists inventing a pregnancy apparatus.

According to Gigi de Maupassant of France's Le News Agency when Brad Pitt, 48, found out he was extremely shocked. He shook his head and replied that this was certainly going to change his plans.

Pitt had confided to de Maupassant in mid December that he had decided that he would leave Angelina after the Christmas holidays.

He revealed that there were several reasons but one of the main ones was the fact that Jolie has just become obsessed with tattoos. He stated that she started off with a few and then a few more and now she is starting to give Jesse James' former ex-future wife Kat Von D some competition.

Pitt stated that when he confronted Angie about her out-of-control tattoo habit she started crying and promised that she would not get any more. And then the very next day, she went out shopping for cheese and came back with yet another tattoo.

Brad said that this one cost $429 and was a tattoo of Daffy Duck which she had put on her labia majora.

It was that incident that caused Pitt to say that he would be divorcing her after the Christmas holidays.

But now since Angelina is with child Brad has informed the news media that he will not be dumping her after all.

Angelina Jolie who is a fan of numbers has stated that if the baby is a boy she will name him Seventho and if it is a girl she will name her Seventha.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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