The BBC announced today that it great expectations for its drama, Great Expectations, which will be aired for three consecutive nights during the boring arse period between Christmas and the new year.
The new version stars Ray Winston, out of Scum as Magwitch, and Gillian Anderson out of the X-Files as Miss Havisham.
According to sources, Harry out of One Direction will play Pip, Katie Price will play Charles Dickens, Harry Redknapp will portray Scrooge, Vinnie Jones will play Fagin, Rutger Hauer will play Nancy, Plan B will play The Sweeney, Rose West will play Oliver Twist, and unknown, Erskin Quint will play Sherlock Holmes.
Spoof writer, armfeetandtoe will make his acting debut playing Grant Mitchell out of EastEnders and former Spoof stalwart, Shady Cadaver will play the late and much lamented Nora Batty, off Last Of The Summer Wine.
Monkey Woods will play Les Dawson, Colonel Juan will portray Che Guevara, Ellis Ian Fields will play WC Fields, and Aspartame Boy will play a sugar bowl.
Mel Gibson, Jean La Fete, Lynton, Charlie Sheen and Philbert of Macadamia will play the Four Tops.
Here at Skoob Entertainment News, we suspected that the press release may have been a bit of a wind up. Especially when we read the bit that Queen Mudder will be playing Helen Mirren, and that Abel Rodriguez, Michael Balton, Inchcock and Katarina Frogpond would pe playing the James Gang out of the old wild west.
Spoof writer, Nick Hobbs said:
"It sounds like a right load of old bollocks to me. Somebody's taking the piss."
More as we get it.