So exclusive, it is exclusively exclusive, news reaches us that human blow up doll, Katie Price is set to undergo the world's first total head transplant.
An aficionado of cosmetic surgery, Ms. Price has become a little bored of the more popular surgeries, so has opted for something that, in her own words, will 'have the press gagging for a bit of the old Pricey again.'
Appearing at the press conference yesterday afternoon, held at the brand new private clinic, 'Heads-2-go', in Los Angeles, where she will undergo the procedure, Ms. Price explained her reasons behind this radical surgery.
' Well, a change is as good as a rest innit? Fact is I've had it all done - boobs, conk, lips, teeth, vajazzle - so why not go the whole hog and get me head done? We all get a bit bored of looking at the same old face in the mirror, though I'm bleeding hard pressed to remember mine, so why not? I was finkin' maybe a swap with Anne Widdecombe if she's up for it. I'm well up for it seeing as she's landed that fit bit of arse George Clooney.'
Journalists questioned the surgeon who will be carrying out the transplant, Dr. Max Finkelstein, as to the ins and outs of the procedure, and any risks involved.
' Well obvously, there are risks involved in any surgery, but Katie is a healthy, 19 year old girl (at this point some journos laughed and attempted to correct the doctor, but were maced by Ms. Price's publicist and removed from the room) and is fully aware of any risks, one of which being brain capacity may be severely affected, but we don't think this will be a big issue for Ms. Price. She fully understands it may mean a drop from a 4 to a -2 IQ level and isn't especially bothered.'
Back in Blighty, Ms. Price's ex husband Peter Andre was asked for his reaction to the stunning news.
' Mate, nothing that woman does surprises me you know? I just wish she'd done it when we were still married as I've always had a soft spot for Widdy. The way she performed the salsa on 'Strictly' got me juices flowing, and I even asked my management to see if they could get her as a backing dancer for my UK tour. No such luck though. Take That had already snapped her up.'
The surgery will take place as soon as a donor is found, and should Ms. Widdecombe not be available, Elton John has expressed an interest although Katie is less than enthusiastic about the prospect.
' Bleeding 'ell no. Can you imagine the amount of money it'll cost me in wigs? 'e can keep his bloody bonce.'