Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 December 2011

image for The Scandalous Rumors About Kobe Bryant and Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria has admitted to being a big basketball fan but nothing else. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

LOS ANGELES - The rumors about who Kobe Bryant was messing around with causing his wife Vanessa to file divorce papers keep swirling out of the infamous rumor mill.

Names that have been mentioned include Jessica Burciaga, Carla DiBello, Sanaa Lathan, and even Heidi Montag.

But iRumors is reporting that an unnamed, inside, reliable source has stated that one extremely sexy female who certainly caught Kobe's eye was Eva Longoria, star of ABC's Desperate Housewives.

Taffeta Kixx with iRumors said that she was told that rumors of some kind of a relationship between the Los Angeles Lakers star and the Hollywood actress, who was once married to San Antonio Spurs Tony Parker have been floating around Tinsel Town like cumulus clouds in March.

A rival entertainment media publication Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that Eva is still upset at the fact that Parker was sending extremely intimate text messages of a sexual nature to the wife of one of his teammates.

BPT noted that Tony even had a bunch of charcoal drawings of his texting tart along with an amazing Etch-A-Sketch drawing which showed a highly intimate body part beginning with the letter "V."

Longoria stated that it was that Etch-A-Sketch drawing of the "V" word that put the finishing touches on her marriage to Tony "The Baloney" Parker.

Kobe was asked by iRumors if the sensuously gorgeous Eva Longoria was the reason why his soon-to-be-ex-wife Vanessa had filed for divorce.

The Lakers superstar shrugged his shoulders and replied that he had no idea. He admitted that he does not watch her show Desperate Housewives and that he has not seen Eva since the fantastic Thanksgiving Day PiƱata Party she threw for the stars of the cable show Lamar & Khloe, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom.

Bedroom Pillow Talk tried to contact Eva Longoria but her assistant said that she was at her hair stylist FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon in Beverly Hills getting a Brazilian Wax Job on her crotch cookie.

And so the Kobe Bryant - Vanessa Bryant Divorce Saga will continue, with more female names sure to be named. But through all of the rumor, innuendo, hearsay, and 'he said - she said,' one thing is definitely certain. And that is that $360 million divided by two is $180 million.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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