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Friday, 16 December 2011

image for Dappy gives "ev-eh-dince innit" at Leveson inquiry
A crowd of enthusiastic fans demand to know the whereabouts of Dappy's talent

Dappy, a singer and member of suitably stupidly-spelled pointy and shouty pop group N-Dubz, has given evidence at the Leveson Inquiry into the News of the World phone tapping.

Mr Dappy - whose real name is Costadinos Contostavlos Braindeadz - was challenging former staff of the News of the World as to why they didn't tap his phone or put him in the newspaper.

He said that when it comes to fellow group member and X-Fixtor judge Tulisa, he was well known for invading her privacy - and on more than one occasion - using a variety of pieces of equipment, some often personal.

He also said that when it came to phone tapping, especially in relation to Tulisa, he was a happy Dappy when he got an extension, although not necessarily anything to do with Alexander Graham Bell's invention.

He also challenged why columnist Jeremy Clarkson had never stood outside the group's studio and demanded that "Dappy be strung up, innit", at which point Mr Justice Leveson agreed and called an ajournment to find out precisely why.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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