Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 13 December 2011

image for Adam Sandler Doesn't Care That 97% of All Movie Critics Panned His Latest Movie "Jack and Jill"
The "Jack and Jill" cameraman filming the movies bisexual parrots scene.

HOLLYWOOD - Adam Sandler says that he does give a flying flip what 97% of the movie critics said, he still feels that his latest motion picture Jack and Jill is one of the best comedies ever made and he truly believes that it could win several Academy Awards.

Lingchow Rangoon of iRumors agreed with him on the second part saying it could very well win an Academy Award if they make up an award for the most annoying character in a motion picture, or the most blatant use of racism using a child actor.

Rangoon said that she saw the movie in Venice Beach and that the pre-movie advertisements for cellulite removal, male pattern balance correction creams, and coping with dysfunctional family members elicited more laughs than the Sandler movie did.

She stated that once the movie started some of the moviegoers actually started throwing popcorn at the screen. one lady who appeared to be in her early 90s yelled out at Sandler's character up on the big screen, "Hey dickweed, I got funnier lines on my old-as-the-freakin hills varicose-veined ass!"

A man sitting next to her who hopefully was her husband hollered out, "And trust me folks the blue-haired old bitch ain't kiddin' either."

Another movie patron yelled out for the movie projectionist to turn off the sound so that we could listen to Ma and Pa Kettle who were a whole lot funnier than the film.

Rangoon said that when the film showed the family sitting at the Thanksgiving table and the little boy was sitting there with a dildo taped to his forehead that half of the audience members got up and left.

The old-blue haired lady asked why they were leaving just because the boy had a salt shaker taped to his forehead.

A voice helled out "It's not a salt shaker, it's a dildo bitch!"

The old woman hollered back. "Okay, so what the hell is a dildo bitch?"

"Turn off the sound" Someone laughingly hollered out to the projectionist.

"Turn off the frig-gin sound!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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