Written by TAR
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Topics: Angelina Jolie, Diet

Monday, 12 December 2011

image for Angeleena's Gummy Bear Diet
"Gimmee Those Gummies"

"Angeleena Jolie is shedding those invisible pounds like there is no tomorrow", tweets Zelda Terwilleger of Glamour Girl.  Sources close to the super rich mega star says it has zero calories to do with vanity and it's all about making a political statement.

The 36-year-old stunning U.N. do good and willing ambassador, who travels the globe meeting the less fortunate, "puts herself on ultra slim fasts to make statements for the people she visits."

"She says, 'If they can't eat, I can't eat,'" a close aide adds. "She does hundreds of different cleanses including body and soul from around the world," reports another.  
We asked Angeleena to give us the goods on these facts!

"It's very dramatic and sometimes addictive, but that's how I do crazy things that will shock the nation worldwide and when both men and women consistently rate you as the woman they'd most like to sleep with, you know you're forever sexy, possibly even the sexiest woman alive," smirks Jolie.

Sources close to the Hollywood Royal couple say, "Angeleena  demands 24 hour emergency port-a-potty availability wherever she goes." "Traveller's diarrhea can be very messy and embarrassing for the unassuming," reports Zelda.

The actress is currently promoting her directorial debut and has Brat Pitt worried sick about her consuming health, according to other insiders.

"He's terribly concerned about her state of mind and has everyday visions of chanting voodoo doctors," family members say, but despite the concerns of some third world medical experts such as Golda Deepa Borabora, "I just keep tell the lady she is healthy and not to worry unless vulchers start to circle overhead."

So ... is Angelenna really starving herself?  "Ummmm, ya but she can't hide the fact that she's looking ultra ultra super thin these days ... surviving on 3 gummy bears a day and she certainly can't hide the ultra craziness either," says Zelda.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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