Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 12 December 2011

image for X-Factor's Rachel Crow Is Being Considered For Next Season's Dancing With The Stars
Some of the pandas from Rachel's toy panda collection.

HOLLYWOOD - Little X-Factor cast-off Rachel Crow has just become the most famous 13-year-old in America.

After being eliminated from Simon Cowell's reality music show X-Factor and having a virtual meltdown on stage, live before millions of television viewers the little singing dynamo has received all kinds of offers.

She has already agreed to appear on an episode of The Vampire Diaries starring Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder.

Word out of the Big Apple (New York City) is that Kelly Ripa called up Rachel and asked her to be a co-host on her show Live With Kelly.

And a spokesperson for Khloe Kardashian, Jose Tamalada has even invited the tiny songstress known as "Little Crow" to appear on an episode of Lamar & Khloe, to which Rachel's parents responded with a resounding "No way Jose!"

Barbara Walters wants Rachel to appear on a special edition of The View which will feature all of this year's X-Factor cast-offs including the little hip hop rapper Astro, who has been nicknamed Astro The Attitude; Drew "The Chair" Ryniewicz; Stacy "Tons of Tears" Francis; and the bargain bin version of the Dixie Chicks, Lakoda Rayne.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: X-Factor cast-off Dexter "Where Am I" Haygood was also asked to appear on The View but he turned it down texting Barbara Walters with the message, "Dontcha be bothering me woman, cause dis here talented bro he still be one pissed off brutha since I knows I was gonna be's da next James "Happy Feets" Brown fa shizzle ma nizzle uh huh.]

"Baby Crow" as Simon Cowell calls Rachel was asked by Kiowa Kettle of Tittle Tattle Tonight what she thought about the Herman Cain political scandal.

Rachel smiled and politely said that she really doesn't pay attention to sports, politics, or Alec Baldwin but did wonder why none of the white blonde "PizzaGate" gals never provided a photo of them with Mr. Cain hugging them, kissing them, or hand-feeding them a slice of pizza.

The producer of Dancing With The Stars, Bernadette Penderlicki has contacted Rachel's mon and dad about the little cutey pie possibly being one of the celebrity contestants on next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

Rachel's parents said that they would think about it but did stress that they did not want her to be paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, alias "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom."

In other news. The state of Vermont has just passed a bill making it illegal for anyone in the state to file insurance claims on injuries incurred due to 'self-inflicted tickling,' a strangely odd fad that just within the past few months has really gotten a bit out of hand.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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