Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 12 December 2011

image for Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars Goes To X-Factor's Nicole Scherzinger's Home And Comforts Her
Nicole Scherzinger reading about X-Factor in The Tinsel Town Times Tribune. (Photo courtesy of Derek Hough).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Nicole Scherzinger, one of the four X-Factor judges took some unwarranted hits from many viewers who blamed her for 13-year-old Rachel Crow being eliminated from the latest edition of X-Factor.

Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld caught up with Miss Scherzinger at a Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos in West Hollywood and spoke with the still heartbroken former lead singer with the Pussycat Dolls.

Miss Wine asked Nicole how she was holding up. She put down her Three-Meat Deluxe Burrito and replied that she was still quite devastated and that she had just about run out of tears.

Scherzinger pointed out that she actually had to get rid of one of her favorite purses because it got so wet from the teardrops that it actually got ruined.

Nicole said she felt bad about having to throw the purse away because it had been a birthday gift from Vice-President Joe Biden and he had actually autographed it with an extremely personal message.

When asked what she told Rachel Crow backstage after she had been eliminated Nicole smiled and replied that she hugged "Little Crow" and said, "Ahhhh, Raaaachel sweeeety IIIII am sooooo sorrrrry."

She then stated that Rachel told her that she was fine and that it was really her who should be apologizing for acting like a spoiled 12-year-old brat. A puzzled Nicole told her "But you're 13."

Rachel shook her curly locks and replied, "I know that silly girl, but I was merely making a point that I had acted like a spoiled 12-year-old brat."

"Oh. Okay, I see now. I gitcha. Gosh, all of this friggin crying has got my mind and my feminine hormones all messed up. I really need to seek some comfort from someone but I don't know who."

Wine reported that the next day Nicole called her up extremely excited. She told her that on the night of the show after she had arrived back at her house she was having a midnight snack and trying to keep her tears from falling into her bowl of Lucky Charms.

She informed Miss Wine that she received a call on her cell phone and she was shocked to see that the call was from Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars fame.

She disclosed that "The Dancing Dude" as Derek is known, told her to keep her chin up. He pointed out that Rachel getting eliminated was not her fault and that "Baby Crow" had been sent home by the millions of X-Factor viewers who simply gave Marcus (Canty) more votes than she got.

He assured her that people who were putting the blame on her were just silly, way out of line, and being Nicole Scherzinger haters partly because she is one astonishingly, beautiful, sexy-looking babe.

Derek then casually offered to go over to her house and just sit and talk and help her dry the tears that he could tell over the phone that she was still shedding.

Nicole was both flattered and thrilled and she admitted that she has always had a crush on him and so she told him to come on over and to please pick up a box of Kleenex, a pepperoni pizza, and a bottle of Brocard Chablis Burgundy Wine.

Nicole's housekeeper Portia "Dusty" Warshamski expressed to the TV ClickerWorld reporter that Nicole and Derek had a fabulously great time and that Nicole made her promise to never reveal to anyone what she had seen.

Miss Warshamski told Miss Wine that the only thing she would tell her was that Miss Nicole had given her a fantastically generous raise and that Mr. Hough had given her a $100 tip, an autographed 8 by 10 glossy of himself, and the actual shirt that he had worn on the Dancing With The Stars show in which he and Ricki Lake had gotten eliminated.

POSTSCRIPT: Rachel Crow informed TV ClickerWorld that she has been approached by famed attorney Gloria Allred to file a lawsuit against Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul, and L.A. Reid, who all voted against her. But that she has decided that she will not pursue the matter and instead she'll just simply adhere to that abstract saying that the Cajun and Creole people down in New Orleans use, and she'll just build a bridge and get over it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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