The Board of Trustees of Pennsylvania State University has unanimously passed a resolution to ask Jerry Sandusky to please stop wearing Penn State sweat suits every time he gets arrested. It was at a Happy Valley news conference that Peter Fillia, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of Penn State, made the announcement.
"We truly believe that it's every man's inalienable right to wear whatever that person desires," Mr. Fillia declared, "but the Board feels that Jerry is going overboard. After all, we certainly don't need any more negative publicity than we have currently."
It was suggested at the conference that the Penn State wardrobe may be the only items that Mr. Sandusky has and that he may not be able to afford a new set of clothes.
Mr. Fillia then suggested that perhaps the Board may be willing to purchase a new wardrobe for Mr. Sandusky. "In fact," Mr. Fillia added, "I'm sure we can get him some sweat pants from Notre Dame or OSU. All he has to do is ask."