Written by Michael Rosenblat
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Tuesday, 6 December 2011

image for Rosie O'Donnell Round 3 - Ding Ding!
Good ol' lesbian wedding rings

NEW YORK CITY - Famous celebrity, comedian talk show host Rosie O'Donnell should be even more famous for her persistency in her love life. Yes, it is true, after only two failed marriages, she declared her engagement to Michelle Rounds.

In the massive swing party, brothel, celebrity lifestyle, marriage being a big deal was so yesterday. Kim Kardashian is a great back up for my point. If you have not followed anything about the Kris Humphries and Kardashian marriage I would highly suggest checking it out for a good bathroom read or something. Now back to the fat lady.

Besides that supersized McDonald's number 4, with a little side cherry pie, and a DIET coke, this should be the happiest moment of her life. (Or 3rd happiest? I don't know.) All I hope - for the sake of some other orphan child out there - is that they do not adopt another baby. Okay, yes, most of us open minded people can understand that same sex parents can raise children, but no need to go near double digits. Anyways, it seems like O'Donnell still has hope in her love life, but it should be shot down by now like when she sees no more bottom fries at the bottom of her value meal. Please, no need to feel sympathetic towards Rosie though!

I feel the worst for O'Donell's father. All he truly wanted was a son to marry a pretty girl (and I am sure that staying married was implied.) Hey, he almost got there. Instead he got a girl, who looks like a dude, and is marrying a pretty lady. Next let's see how Rosie's whacky, possibly bi-polar mindset has led her marriage life.

Her first love, Carpenter lasted about three years from 2004-2007, not bad, eh? Her second marriage to Tracy Kachtick-Anders lasted two years. Okay, a little less this time, so let's hope that this lasts more than one year? I just want to see who her best man will be.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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