HOLLYWOOD - TouchRock Films in association with Tri-Moon pictures has announced that production will begin in late December on Staccato Monteverdi's motion picture Oops - The Herman Cain Story.
According to Silver Screen Showcase Magazine the movie will begin with a young Herman Cain working as a pepperoni placer at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Savannah, Georgia.
Monterverdi has said that he will focus on the behind-the-pizza-scenes of the mysterious but yet intriguing world of pizza.
He has hired one of the world's leading experts on pizza to be the movie's pizza consultant. The individual who was born in Brooklyn to an Italian mother and a Jewish father is Vincenzo "Mushroom" Waltzowitz who according to the pizza industry publication I Got Your Sausage Illustrated holds the record for having made the most pizzas ever in the continental United States, excluding Alaska and Hawaii for reasons of a legal nature.
Waltzowitz stated that most people look at a pizza and see food. He says that he looks at a pizza and sees a big round, gooey, cheesy, wad of money.
When he was asked by Pomona Vox of Silver Screen Showcase Magazine to name what the single most important thing that goes into a pizza is Waltzowitz smiled and replied, "Oy vey, dat's an easy one - itsa gotta be da ingredients handsa down."
Miss Vox asked him if he could be a little more specific. He grinned and said "Okey dokey, hokey pokey. Itsa da ingredients datta go onna toppa da pizza."
Monteverdi proudly told Miss Vox that he was thrilled at signing Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman to play the part of Herman Cain. He said that one of his assistants had suggested Kanye West, but the assistant was immediately fired on the spot.
The noted producer-director said that three of the film's main white blondes will be portrayed by Jennifer Aniston, Pamela Anderson, and Gwyneth Paltrow.
Monteverdi says that the three actresses were all chosen because they all have a striking resemblance to the main "PizzaGate" gals. He even noted that their voices are as identical as they can possibly be without the actresses having to mimic the actual voice.
He pointed out that originally Renee Zellweger was to have also appeared in the movie but she had to back out when she learned that she was allergic to anchovies and Parmesan.
SIDENOTE: Staccato Monteverdi says that he has still not cast the role of Mrs. Herman Cain yet. At first he thought about Whoopi Goldberg but he nixed that idea when Whoopi flat out refused to lose the 35 pounds she was asked to lose in order to have the bodily appearance of Gloria Cain, who is a downright skinny woman.