Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 4 December 2011

image for Santa Claus May Have Cheated on the Missus
Has he been naughty?

The rumors of holiday hanky panky are flying faster than Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Several tabloids are reportedly ready to publish motel records from all over the world that would show Santa to be an unfaithful spouse.

Some say the rumors have even taken all the joy and innocence out of that old Christmas favorite, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."

Ebenezer Scrooge was quoted as saying, "Bah, humbug! I believe Santa gets a lot more than milk and cookies in many of the houses he visits on Christmas Eve."

Another critic pointed out, "Sure, everyone gets attention from Santa. But he does have his favorites. He has that line: And to ALL a good night. But I've noticed that when he says it, he's always winking at the most gorgeous young ladies in the crowd."

Santa does have his defenders though. Chief Reindeer Rudolph claims he's never witnessed any inappropriate behavior on the part of his boss. "Well, what did you expect him to say?" claimed one of the other reindeer. "In this job market, and with that red nose, where would he find another job?" Frosty the Snowman also said that he had complete confidence in Santa's fidelity to his wife. But then, as one critic pointed out, Frosty, for fear of melting, stays away from situations that may be hot, hot, hot!

So far, at least in public, Mrs. Claus is standing by her man. "It's just a bunch of rumors," she has said. On the other hand, Mrs. Claus has reportedly told friends: "If I find out Santa is into sexting, I'm outta here."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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