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Saturday, 3 December 2011

image for Kim Kardashian Calls Kris Humphries the Gay Divorcée
Kim Kar

Pretty at the wedding, ugly at the divorce court may be the future of Kim Kardashian. Fred and Ginger made a movie called The Gay Divorcée, but Kris and Kim don't dance unless it is the twostep.

Her dearly departed husband calls her out for duping him and wants, not a divorce, but an annulment. He believes he was used like an old bone for a teething puppy.

As a result, Kim Kardashian apparently now is calling her abandoned husband Kris Humphries "gay." This hurts Kris badly as he is about to re-enter the world of team sports, locker rooms, and shower stalls for the New Jersey Nets.

Heaven knows what that word means in the pea-brain of Ms Kardashian. It will take more than just the fishwife tones of Kim to put Kris in or out of the closet.

Just because a man wears beige nail polish, has his eyebrows plucked, enjoys a pedicure, and has his anus bleached, does not mean he is gay. Kim has seen too many Sean Hayes movies.

We are already victims of Kim Kardashian's penchant for lurid bedtime tales, but now any man whom she feels has not succumbed to her videotaped talents must be suspect.

Heaven forfend that Kris Humphries simply came down with a headache at bedtime when the wicked witch of cable TV flew into the boudoir.

There will be times in the future when Ms Kardashian, ample in her middle age and spread, will be happy to perform nuptials with a young gay whelp who'll escort her to supermarket openings and other rare places that will welcome her.

Apparently the definition of annulment has not yet been whispered in Kim's ear. Kris is asking for it, and she seems about to hand it to him on a silver platter (perhaps one of those unreturned wedding gifts).

If Kris Humphries is gay, this marriage will be annulled faster than you can say, "Sham wedding."

Now if Kris reveals that Kim is a transsexual, we know we are cooking up a storm for tabloid fun.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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