Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 3 December 2011

image for Kanye West Tells X-Factor Cast-Off Astro Not To Worry That He'll Take Him Under His Wing
Astro's brand new pet female puppy which he named "Kanye."

HOLLYWOOD - Fifteen-year-old Brian Bradley, AKA Astro was the first of two to be eliminated on the latest edition of X-Factor.

Astro who offended a lot of people when he disrespected the viewers because he had ended up in the bottom two learned a very valuable lesson. And that is that if you are just barely starting off in the music business you had better learn to keep your little mouth shut and check your arrogance, sarcasm, and ego at the door.

The American public may put up with the likes of Kanye West, Chris Brown, and several other performers who think they are bigger than every other performer but they will most certainly not put up with a little boy acting like a miniature version of Kanye West.

Even Astro's mentor L.A. Reid, who is a type of a cross between Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson and Herman "PizzaGate" Cain did not like the way Astro insulted the viewers and the judges.

Reid told him backstage that his little outburst had just cost him the competition and a chance at the $5 million top prize and L.A. was right.

Simon Cowell told Astro that he needs to be more humble and to figure out a way to keep from having all of his hip hop rap songs all sound the same. Astro reminded the "Count of Criticism" that he sings rap music and all rap music does sound the same.

Cowell shook his head and pointed out that repeating the same eight note riff over and over kind of gets old after about the first two minutes. Astro again reminded Simon that hip hop music is repetitive and is really not boring unless you're Paris Hilton, Michele Bachmann, Piers Morgan, or Barbara Walters.

According to LaSabrosa Windwater of Afro Sheen Magazine, Kanye West has talked to little Astro about taking him under his wing and teaching him some of the basics of hip hop such as how to make instrument sounds with your mouth, how to keep from grabbing your crotch every seven seconds, and how to memorize 9,000 lyrics in about 35 minutes.

Little Astro says that he is so happy to have Kanye looking out for him that he has named his new puppy Kanye. Astro grinned and said that the puppy is a female but that it does not matter because there are some parts in Africa where the name Kanye is also used for females.

SIDENOTE: The rumor that Astro is being sued by the Houston Astros baseball team for name infringement had not been confirmed as of press time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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