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Thursday, 1 December 2011

image for X-Factor Christmas number one under threat from Go Compare Man
Wynne Evans in his video for Go Compare Christmas Songs

The Go Compare Man, the irritating overweight mustachioed opera singer, is set to release a Christmas song next week, called Go Compare Christmas Songs, to challenge the traditional X-Factor number one.

"There's a movement each year to stop X-Factor getting to number one," said X-Factor music release manager, Simone Towel. "We expected this year to be no different."

The Go Compare tenor, Gio Compare, is played by Welsh opera singer Wynne Evans, is releasing a rapidly changing melody of Christmas hits over the years, from Merry Christmas Everybody to All I Want For Christmas Is You and even A Wombling Merry Christmas, which a personal favourite of Evans's.

"We have put together an uplifting Christmas track," said Evans. "To see if we resisted the temptation to sing 'Go Compare' at any point, you'll have to listen and see."

X-Factor bosses are not unduly worried. "We've seen off other novelty songs at Christmas," said Towel, "The public are tired of them. Memories of Mr Blobby or Benny Hill live long in the memory, and people naturally shy away from them."

The X-Factor lost it's number one slot in 2010 to Rage Against The Machine, which reached number one after a massive Facebook campaign. Whether the same sort or support will amass behind Wynne Evans is not yet known, but Evans's record label, Compare and Go, are hopeful it will.

"There's a lot of Christmas songs to choose from," said Evans. "Which is the best? Well I suggest you..."

Fortunately he was interrupted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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