Written by Flexicon
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Tuesday, 29 November 2011

An unassuming middle-aged woman has astounded judges on Britain's Got Talent with her flawless and unprecedented folding of a fitted sheet.

When Susan Bailey, a homely spinster from West Lothian, Scotland, took to the audition stage and announced that she fancied herself as the next Mrs Beeton, titters rippled through the audience and one young lady was caught rolling her eyes.

But mockery soon turned to an astonished hush, as Susan began to expertly fold her queen-size fitted sheet into a perfectly smooth rectangle. Halfway through her spellbinding performance, the audience erupted in rapturous applause. Susan paused, and with a sassy wiggle of her ample hips, she winked at the crowd and said, "And that's just one side of it!"

From that moment, the audience were putty in her hands, as were the judges. Leaping to their feet in a standing ovation, they were unanimous in their praise.

"When you walked out here and said, 'I want to be just like Mrs Beeton', everyone was laughing at you," said Piers Morgan. "Well no one's laughing at you now."

Amanda Holden said, "You could have heard a pin drop. I had goosebumps."

Simon Cowell appeared to be gobsmacked. "I have NEVER seen anyone fold a fitted sheet before. I think we have all witnessed something rather extraordinary here tonight."

You Tube footage of Susan's audition has already gone viral, with over 100 million hits, and internet chat rooms are abuzz with speculation as to how far she will go in the contest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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