Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 28 November 2011

image for Paris Hilton's Crazy Whorse cabaret 'laid bear' - reports
No current plans to attend the Temple of the Nude Chick opening ceremony

South Dakota - An incident at the Black Hills, Custer County monument complex featuring the LA starlet's burlesque video dance routine is being investigated according to reports from South Dakota.

Locals say 'bear abuse' is suspected after a '400lb grizzly' was found spreadeagled 'but satiated' following a mountain sculptors' three day 'orgy' featuring risqué entertainment.

Someone who's never actually seen the vid or attended the drunken bacchanale said today they'd always suspected sleazy shenanigans at the Indian Museum of North America's mountain carving site.

"Poor beast was probably subjected to hours of lurid g-string/suspender belt/black thigh boots footage," Jonah P Goodygumboots commented today.

"Call me old fashioned... but this sort of Moulin Rouge spectacle merely underlies a toxic Calfornian 'the temple of the chic nude' ethos.

"What the old Oglala Lakota warrior, Crazy Horse, would have made of it doesn't bear thinking about."

Locals however are pretty laid back about the incident amid reports that a well known Custer County entrepreneur is planning on opening his own burlesque entertainment club, provisionally entitled the Temple of the Nude Chick.

Whether the blonde LA entertainer will grace it with her presence on the 1st January opening ceremony is debateable.

Current estimates put her fee at around $5 million.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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