Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 25 November 2011

image for Sandra Bullock Devastated At Being Dumped By Ryan Reynolds For Blake Lively
Sandra Bullock says that romance has slipped through her hands once again. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

HOLLYWOOD - Sandra Bullock has certainly had more than her share of ups and downs in the love and romance department.

Bullock recently spoke with Hacienda Dakota of Hollywood Vis-a-Vis at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner and discussed her latest disappointment in a long line of disappointments over two platters of Sweet and Sour Enchiladas and an order of Macho Nachos.

The Academy Award Winner for Best Actress told Miss Dakota that everything seemed to be going great with her relationship with Ryan Reynolds.

Bullock said that Reynold had bought her 22-month-old son Louis a $900 one-of-a-kind tricycle with training wheels that he had purchased in Dublin, Ireland.

He also opened up a $2,000 savings account for Louis Bullock at Austin's Third Coast National Savings & Loan.

Sandra confessed to Miss Dakota that in the bedroom department that she would have to say that Ryan was a 9.2. She blushed when she told him that he had actually picked up several unique sexual positions when he was filming a movie in Indonesia.

Sandra, 47, was asked what she felt had caused Reynold, 35, to suddenly end their relationship. She said that one day while she and Ryan were line dancing at a local dance hall in Austin that he just came out and told her that he was going to be breaking up with her.

Bullock said she asked him why and he just shrugged his shoulders and answered "Because."

"Because why?" She asked.

"Simply because." He replied.

Sandra got in his face and said that 'simply because' was not a damn effen answer and that she wanted him to grow a pair and to come up with a damn good friggin answer.

He told her that he had fallen head-over-heels for Blake Lively who is only 26. He then said that he hated to say it but that he just could not see him one day getting married to a cougar.

Bullock asked him if the fact that Lively had way bigger tits than hers had anything to do with it. Reynold giggled and told her that it did not and offered her proof by saying that he was a leg man and in that department both were evenly matched.

Sandra called up her old "Kissing Pal" Meryl Streep and asked her for some advice. Streep reportedly told her to let the dickhead go and that Blake will soon dump his ungrateful butt just like Alanis Morissette, Ke$ha, and Scarlett Johansson had done.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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