Written by TAR
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Friday, 25 November 2011

image for Mary Jo Looking For Young Cubs
Mary Jo Dating A Cublet

"Look, I get the urge to date younger cublets after an ugly, messy and nasty divorce. More of these cubs are single without ex wives, kids and the baggage that comes along with age. They're probably more willing to please an aggressive domineering woman and less set in their ways after leaving the nest," grins Mary Jo Usedtobe. "If Tori Spellington can eat cake, so can I," quipped Mary Jo.

Good for Usedtobe for getting her cubster and moving on past those desperate crying episodes after Tori Spellington rescued her husband from a very hopeless and sour marriage.

For the love of God, though, why is she calling the boys she dates "cubs" and talking about introducing them to new flavors and "adult food" as if they're toddlers? It's creepy and it sounds like she's talking about a son, not a boyfriend, reported a close gay friend.

Usedtobe says she was approached by the "Muskrat" Life ceo about doing an article on cooking for her cublet, so maybe she's just on board for this idea and it wasn't something she came up with on her own...wink...wink. A close friend says she really is a ditz and has been known to have brain farts at the best of times.

The "Muskrat Life" lady probably has to cook for her "cubster" at home because it's so embarrassing to take him out. You have the "he looks like your son" comments, along with the sticky issue of who is going to pay for dinner when your date is scraping by and you've got a soso career. May as well make some a coffee flavored milkshake and have cubster sex at your place, that way you won't have to face the reality that your cubster is living with roommates in an apartment that needs fumigation. I remember the hot guys I dated in college and I remember scrubbing some nasty tubs before I was able to take an after sex shower. Some of those guys were really super hot, looking back, but life at that time was much less convenient on so many levels.

I guess it seems inevitable that someone has put out a "Muskrat Life" cookbook, because a lot of those young dudes can't cook anything other than KD and it's not like they can pick up the check on a night out. Ultimately it's a marketing gimmick, just like the less than famous women that Eustace uses to name each cubster recipe. Sweet Tori Spellington should be on the dessert menu.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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