Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 November 2011

image for John Goodman To Star In "Oops - The Officer John 'Pepper Spray' Pike Story"
The University of California Davis has the happiest college students in all of California.

HOLLYWOOD - Lions Face Pictures in association with TouchRock Films has just announced that production will soon begin on the motion picture Oops - The Officer John "Pepper Spray' Pike Story.

The movie will feature John Goodman in the starring role and will be filmed in 3D and Smell-O-Vision and will be directed by the award-winning director Bandini Borrapelli.

The main part of the movie will be filmed on the campus of Gatorade College in Ocala, Florida, which has a tremendous resemblance to the University of California at Davis down to the orange trees, grapefruit trees, lemon trees, and the 21-foot tall bronze statue of the 13th U.S. president Millard Fillmore.

Borrapelli said that the film will begin with little 6-year-old Johnny Pike shown sitting around his family's Christmas tree and as his older sister opens up a present Johnny for some unexplained reason reaches over, grabs the ribbon, and eats it.

In one scene Pike is in his family's backyard sitting on his red tricycle with a BB gun shooting unsuspecting grasshoppers, crickets, and gnats.

Pike will also be shown at the age of nine when he allegedly threatened to kidnap his own grandmother because she told him to quit spitting on her cat.

At the age of 14, Johnny took a liking to one of the neighborhood girls, who quickly rejected him after he told her that he wanted to kiss her cowlick.

As Johnny grew older he became a big fan of Barry Manilow. In fact Pike has every album and single that Manilow ever recorded and he even nicknamed his wife "Mandy" after the Manilow hit of the 70s.

Borrapelli said that as soon as he was offered the movie that he picked John Goodman to play the lead. He said that he wanted Rosanne Barr to play Pike's wife but she was busy gathering macadamia nuts in Hawaii and so he decided on casting former Wilson Phillips singer Carnie Wilson in her place.

He said that his first and only choice to play the highly-accented University Chancellor Linda Katehi was the highly-accented Arianna Huffington who readily agreed to take the part.

Borrapelli said that the film will have an R-rating due to explicit language, suggestive mannerisms, provocative clothing, and symptomatic ipso facto.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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