Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this
Topics: jennifer lopez

Monday, 21 November 2011

image for Jennifer Lopez Received Over 7,000 Marriage Proposals After Her Erotically Provocative Performance on The American Music Awards Show
Since announcing her divorce Jennifer Lopez, 42, has gotten back the figure she had at 22. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

LOS ANGELES - Jennifer Lopez performed on The American Music Awards Show singing her hit song "On The Floor" in an outfit that was barely there.

Viewers got to see a side of J.Lo that they had not seen in a while. The soon-to-be-divorced J.Lo stunned the crowd as she danced to a live version of strip poker without the playing cards.

When she finally got down to the basics she wasn't really left with much to the sheer enjoyment and visual pleasure of the male viewers from 12 to 102.

J.Lo pranced and danced on the floor showing off most of the body parts that will soon only be a memory in Marc Anthony's mind.

According to Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight who spoke to Lopez backstage, Jennifer said that within a 30 minute period she had received by way of text messages, emails, and phone calls a total of 7,000 marriage proposals from every state in the nation, except for Arizona, and from 79 nations including 26 from the tiny European country of Lichenstein.

Lopez told Miss Swizzle that she had personally sewn her outfit and that it took her about seven minutes. She said that her new boyfriend Caspar Smart, who is one of her dancers, made her shoes using cowhide imported from Governor Rick Perry's Texas Ranch.

The 3T reporter stated that J.Lo had asked her backstage if she thought that she was one of the sexiest looking women that she had ever seen.

Swizzle replied that she was and then Lopez asked if she was the most erotically provocative looking woman in the entire nation.

Swizzle smiled and told her that she was not a lesbianite but that she would have to say that she definitely is one sexy looking woman with one of the most sensuously erotic bodies she has ever seen including Brooklyn Decker, Scarlett Johansson, and Sofia Vergara.

Tapioca Swizzle told Jennifer that if she was a guy (he) would positively go after her with every raging, out-of-control, male hormone in (his) body because she certainly has the Wow-Factor, the X-Factor, and the Oomph-Factor.

In a non-related story. The city of Beverly Hills has just announced the opening of the Botox Rocks Clinic which will feature 24-hour round-the-clock botox service as well as a drive-thru window.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

7 1 24 5
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more