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Saturday, 19 November 2011

image for Al Pacino To Play Arthur Scargill in 'STRIKE! - Iron Lady My Arse!'
Jodie Marsh Auditioning For The Role Of Mrs T Yesterday

It seems almost certain that Hollywood icon, Al Pacino is to play Arthur Scargill, in Buffty Ginslinger's forthcoming film production of the 1980's miners strike, which has a working title of 'STRIKE! - Iron Lady My Arse!' - in a stinging filmic rebuttal of the Meryl Streep epic about former dictator, Margaret Thatcher, The Iron Lady.

"He's not signed anything yet," Ginslinger admitted in his weekly column in Britflick Magazine. "But I've been told that he's had a look at the script, and according to his people, he's impressed. It isn't a pipedream that he'll work in this country, especially since he opened his shouty college in Dorking. If he does get involved in the project, he'll effectively be able to kill two birds with one stone, working between the acting job and overseeing the shouty college in Dorking."

Ginslinger, a rabid right-on left winger reportedly conceived the Scargill movie project after reading about The Iron Lady being in production, and that Meryl Streep was being mooted as an Oscar nominee before the film had even been completed. According to insiders, Ginslinger became infuriated by the adulation and sentimentality being heaped upon Thatcher, and decided to come up with an alternative POV.

"He loathes that woman and everything she stands for," Ginslinger's close friend and business associate, Warren Watership confided. "He can't stand, to this day, the way she is idolised by the right, and in his opinion, Thatcher sowed the seeds of this country's decay by decimating manufacturing industry in favour of banking and services. And to be frank, he does have a point there, because it's banking and services that have dropped us right in the shit. Had we maintained some sort of industrial output, at least we'd have goods to sell. As it stands, we're just trying to sell things people don't need at prices they can't afford anyway. This film is Buffty's way of hitting back. Plus, he's still a bit put out that his biopic of wrestling legend Mick McManus never came to fruition. Even though Jordan had promised to pop her baps out for that one."

A spokesman for Al Pacino admitted that the superstar was considering taking on the role of Arthur Scargill, and was quite keen on demonstrating his legendary low key method acting skills, providing he could juggle his commitments with the Dorking shouty college. Adding that Pacino would insist that Jodie Marsh portray Margaret Thatcher in the film, and that funnyman, Alan Carr plays Ian McGregor, the strikebuster, or the deal's off.

Somewhat bizarrely, the call from Mr Pacino's representative appeared (According to 1471) to come from the south coast of England, and the speaker had a quite distinctive northern accent, but as it wasn't from Dorking, where the zany prankster authors of that unmissable Christmas stocking filler, 'The Dorking Review' are based, the call was deemed to be legitimate.

Although we wouldn't swear to that.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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