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Saturday, 19 November 2011

image for The Shocking Reason Why Demi Moore Filed For Divorce From Ashton Kutcher
This is one of the money piles that Ashton and Demi will be splitting up.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - After six years of marriage Demi Moore has filed for divorce from her "Boy Toy" husband Ashton Kutcher.

Moore, 49, spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and told him that she hated to file but that she really had no choice but to end their May-December marriage.

Demi, who is known in Tinsel Town as one of the most popular "Cougars" said that contrary to what many in the entertainment media think her reason for filing for divorce was not due to Ashton's wandering wiener, as she put it.

She said that she knew all about his affairs with Brittney Jones, Sara Leal, Sambuca Milkmeister, and Peaches Chattermoon.

De Gallo asked her if Kutcher's dilly dallying with other much younger (than her) women was the cause of her finally filing for divorce.

Moore said that she wanted it known that the 16 year age difference between him and her was also not the cause, nor was his compulsive obsession with twittering, knock-knock jokes, and his Rihanna Inflatable Blow Up Doll.

She told de Gallo that the reason she was divorcing Ashton was because she did not care for his beard and she had let him know it.

The last time she mentioned her dislike for the beard was a week ago as the two sat at an Enchanted Enchilada Mexican Restaurant in Avocado Heights.

Moore said that when she made it very clear that she flat out hated the ugly beard that Ashton angrily picked up a Chile Relleno (Stuffed Chile Poblano) off of her plate and he angrily tossed it against the wall.

He then told her to get effen used to it because he loved it and so did a lot of other great looking, younger, sexy women.

Enchanted Enchilada waitress Cleopatra F. Barrykotter, 19. said that she clearly heard and saw what had transpired.

Moore said that when he made that remark that it was the last straw. She knew that Ashton also cared more about what his co-stars on Two and A Half Men, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones felt.

Cryer had told Kutcher that he liked the beard and that it actually tickled during some of the close face-to-face scenes they'd had in one the most recent episodes.

Angus T. Jones said he liked Mr. Kutcher's beard because it made him look a lot like Abraham Lincoln when he was 33.

Conchata Ferrell who portray Ashton's television maid Berta said that she did not have an opinion one way or the other but added that she felt that the beard had kind of gotten in the way during two of the French kissing scenes between Ferrell's character Berta and Kutcher's character Walden Schmidt.

In other news. The state of Utah has outlawed planking. The state's attorney general stated that if Utah residents want to engage in planking then they can go do it in Nevada or Arizona.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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