Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 18 November 2011

image for X-Factor's Little Rapper Astro Has A Spoiled Brat Meltdown And Extremely Disrespects The Judges and The Viewers
Astro's pet dog who he aptly named, "Yo Yo Yo."

HOLLYWOOD - Fifteen-year-old rap singer Astro found himself in the bottom two of the latest edition of X-Factor.

Astro took the microphone and arrogantly said that since the viewers had put him in the bottom two that he did not want to sing, dance, or even juggle food products for the judges or the viewers. What???

Ling Chow Rangoon who covered the show for iRumors stated that the pint-sized hip hopper showed the worst attitude of anyone in the history of television reality singing shows.

Rangoon pointed out that he was even worse than that that obnoxious, screaming fruit cup that appeared on American Idol several years ago Tatiana Del Toro, who thought that she was going to be the next Celine Dion.

Poor Tatiana imploded on the show after carrying on like a crazed banshee and has never been heard from since. The rumor is that she is working in a bullfight ticket booth in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Astro, who took the nickname from a midget cartoon vampire that appears on the Disney Channel, from the very beginning demonstrated that he had a chip on his shoulder the size of Charles Barkley's head.

He has shown that he already thinks that he is a star and has constantly insulted the studio audience and the judges with his "Hey yo, yo, yo, lissen up y'all" phrase which he uses at least three times a show.

And most viewers do not realize it but on several occasions he has actually forgotten the words to his song, but since he sings rap and a three minute rap song averages about 9,000 words no one even noticed 7 words missing here or 13 words missing there.

Astro, whose real name is Brian Bradley, a name that could not be more unhiphopesque just showed America that he is really nothing more than a little Kanye West in the making.

If (Brian) acts and carries on this way, when he really isn't anything yet one can only imagine the little brat when he turns 18.

Whoa Nellie, the hip hop hissy fit tosser is liable to run up on some music award show and steal the microphone out of Carrie Underwood or Lady Gaga's hand.

But one thing for sure, the rap brat won't be taking the microphone out of Toby Keith or Hank William's hand cause the little fella will find it shoved so far down his tantrum throwing throat that the audience will be able to hear the sounds that a duodenum makes.

So the male adults on the show, and I use that term loosely, Simon Cowell and fellow judge L.A. Reid, are just as much to blame for Astro's way out-of-line actions as Astro is since they willingly condoned his outrageous behavior.

Simon Cowell "The Sultan of Sarcasm," "The Count of Criticism," and "The Viceroy of Venom" missed a golden opportunity to send Astro and other sarcastic wannabee's like him a clear message.

Cowell could have told him in front of the audience in the studio and watching at home that having a spoiled brat attitude like that is not going to be tolerated, but instead Simple Simon rewarded him by voting to eliminate the other singer who was in the bottom two, Stacy Francis.

And L.A. Reid, who is the slimmer, arrogant, better dressed version of American Idol's Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson went right along with his boss $imon and sent out a message which will only serve to encourage dozens of more "Asstros" (sic) in the future.

Well I guess next week, the 14-year-old hip hopper will probably show up with enough borrowed bling bling to buy a Lexus and sporting a tattoo or six.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

1 20 6 7

Go to top