Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Thursday, 17 November 2011

image for Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest
I'm A Kangaroo Get Me Out Of Here.

Fatima Whitbread is being tipped to win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here by an Australian bookie.

"The Aborigine is the only fair dinkum bloke left in the programme since the scouser Freddie Starr chucked a sickie", claimed Crocodile Ocker.

Ex-sheep shearer Okker has laughed off doubts about Fatima's masculinity and has backed the ex-Olympic spear thrower to be voted King Of The Jungle.

"Most red blooded Bruces like to wear budgie smugglers and a boob tube whilst having a yarn and going troppo in the bush. The Aussie punters love Fatima because he is a regular larrikin and is as rough as a shonky shithouse" said Crocodile Ocker.

But the other men in the programme have not made such a good impression on the Down Under bookie.

"That Essex boy Mark Wright wears tart's make up and is not the full quid. Willie Carson spends all day grinning like a shot fox and Antony Cotton is a screaming pommy poofter. Those bludging bastards have all got kangaroos loose in the top paddock" said Ocker.

The female contestants have also failed to catch the glass eye of the convict bookie.

"That flamin galah Lorraine Chase can't speak proper English and is as dry as a dead dingo's donger. The yacking old nag Stefanie Powers reminds me of my old woman. She is as busy as a cat burying shit. Those sheilahs are no hopers and are just desperate for some cash after giving all their doe to the gyno" explained Ocker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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