Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 November 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars: Hope Solo Runs Out of Hope And Gets Sent Back To The Soccer Field
Hope autographed soccer balls for all of the cast members except for Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli.

HOLLYWOOD - Soccer star Hope Solo fell one slot short of making the finals on this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

The 30-year-old who was paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, AKA "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" found herself in the bottom two along with the dancer who many felt and still feel may be this year's winner J.R. Martinez.

So going into the Dancing With The Stars finals next week, will be Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke, Ricki Lake and Derek Hough, and J.R. Martinez and Carina Smirnoff.

Hope and Maks danced to three dance numbers including Blake Shelton's "Honey Bee," Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture," and "The Theme From Wheel of Fortune."

Solo had two illegal leg lifts in "Honey Bee" which of course Carrie Ann Inaba, AKA "The Sorceress of The Philippines" caught and deducted two points for.

Maksin then almost lost his footing as he tripped on a blueberry Pop Tart that someone had thrown on the dance floor during the performance of Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture."

Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman told Hope that she was still not dancing like a girl and that watching her move on the dance floor was kind of like watching Bruno (Tonioli) in a dress except with not as much eye-liner, mascara, or lip gloss.

Carrie Ann Inaba remarked to Solo that instead of concentrating on exercising her biceps and triceps that she should have exercised her boobceps.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli said that she just looked too much like New England quarterback Tom Brady and he then asked her where she had purchased her darling six-inch high heels.

And so as the lights dimmed and the music crescendoed Host Tom "Mr. TV" Bergeron announced that the celebrity going home would be...Hope Solo.

TV ClickerWorld's Sangria Wine said that after the show she overheard Hope telling Maksim backstage that she felt like going out and drinking a bunch of Papaya Margaritas and then finding Len and Bruno and turning them both into sopranos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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