Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Tuesday, 15 November 2011

image for Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles
Freddie Starr ate my foreskin.

Comedian Freddie Starr was dramatically rushed to hospital yesterday after eating Fatima Whitbread's testicles on I'm A Donut Get Me Out Of Here.

The pot-bellied scouser suffered an allergic reaction to the Bushtucker Trial but dismissed reports that he had bitten off more than he could chew after his recent heart attack.

"My career had hit rock bottom, but eating Fatima's bollocks should get me enough votes to keep me in the jungle" said the chain-smoking comic.

But minority groups have complained that the reality TV show is degrading to celebrities after a sick joke appeared on Twitter pointing out that Fatima Whitbread is an anagram of 'I'm fat with a beard'.

"People should stop making fun of Fatima, that's someone's son" said I'm A Donut spokesperson Fanny Clunge.

Australian fans of the reality show are also whinging after a wildlife expert revealed that the lump of meat scoffed by Freddie Starr was a kangaroo's foreskin and not Fatima's testicles.

"If the lesbian drongos from Equal Rights For Gay Kangaroos found out that the pommy poofters were eating protected Roo's dick we would be up shit creek without a paddle", said Gallipoli veteran Crocodile Okker .

In another development, midget jockey Willie Carson is 8-1 with the bookies to mount Fatima Whitbread in the 2012 Derby and ride her to victory.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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