Written by Super-fan
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Monday, 14 November 2011

Officers nationwide celebrated the launch of "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" with over 20,000 reports of drug use prevented last week. Police say it was one of the greatest busts in the country's history.

"A couple of the boys and I camped out all night in the movie theater parking lot the night before release so we would be the first ones there." Said Lt. Potter of the Philadelphia police force. "We caught over a hundred kids illegally consuming marijuana. After months of strained budgets, we're back in the black!"

Cities across the country have been preparing for this day for months. Philadelphia recently changed the marijuana laws so that minor possession causes an automatic $200 fine, bypassing criminal charges and expensive court hearings. Due to this policy change, Philadelphia police expect to net over $100,000 in fines.

"When these criminals smoke in public, anyone can see their bad influence. Think of the children." Lt. Potter noted. "We did. Most of the people we fined were fifteen to twenty five years old."

"This was the best Christmas ever." He added.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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