Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 13 November 2011

image for Stacey Solomon Spotted Shopping In Sainsbury's
We're The Bonkettes Mate! No Camel Toes Here!

Celeb spotters are reporting that former X-Factor contestant, Stacey Solomon, the face of Iceland, has been spotted shopping in Sainsbury's, in Dagenham, Essex.

Bystanders revealed that although they couldn't be 100% certain that the lady they spotted was Stacey, many described the person in question as 'deeply dippy.'

Which appears to fit the bill.

Celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver-Cromwell QC, also a part time carpenter and tree surgeon, reportedly a friend of Stacey Solomon, according to him at least, if not to his other half, Jewels - told reporters:

"Just because you get a lucrative endorsement, it doesn't mean that you have to stick with it forever. You are actually allowed to do a bit of shopping at Sainsbury's or Asda, or Tesco, or Aldi or up the Co-Op, where you can cop eight cans of Belgian lager for a mere eight quid. Or anywhere else for that matter. I'm not even remotely suggesting that Iceland's doner kebab pizzas, fish fingers, or chicken nuggets are in any way unappetising - it's just that occasionally people like a change. Nowt wrong wi' that."

Further enquiries revealed that this year, Stacey won't be exposing her camel toe in a metallic finish bikini on a sunkissed Aussie beach, because she's too busy filming Iceland Christmas ads, and stashing a few bob away in order to pay her exhorbitant winter fuel bills.

SEN's very own top banana, Buffty Ginslinger, managed to contact the lovable Stacey on her mobile, and she apparently told him:

"Who is it? Naaah! You're havin' a larf innit? Oh my Gawd, it's that Ginslinger geezer again! Here! Mum! Cop an earful of this bloke! He's an absolute Nutter! I don't believe this! It's manic innit!"

Erm...more as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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