An image of the Rhine taken by German artist Andreas Gursky has sold for $4.3m (£2.7m) in New York, breaking the auction record for a photograph.
Glass-mounted panoramic colour print Rhein II, created in 1999, is one of an edition of six works.
Art Critic Mike Lamidia simpers, "It's truly wondrous, a masterpiece. Let me describe it for you...
It's made up of horizontal lines. At the top, the sky. Then a thin line of grass. Then a thicker line of water. Then a line of grass. Then a cycle path and finally, at the bottom, a line of grass."
The Christie's employee continues, "The viewer is not invited to consider a specific place along the river, but rather an almost 'platonic' ideal of the body of water as it navigates the landscape".
The Spoof is still in the process of trying to interpret what he said.
The photograph was bought by an anonymous bidder, but we are able to reveal that the buyer with deep pockets is none other than M.P. David Blunkett. A spokespersonnage for Mr. Blunkett told us, "Having described the photo to him he decided that, although he has no idea what it looks like, it's a good investment for his retirement."
Viewers queueing to see the photo are mostly less than impressed.
Sidney Artichoke exclaimed, "It's bollocks innit? My 4 year old daughter could do better with her iPhone. Bloody hell, if Gursky hung himself in an art gallery nobody would notice. It's just bollocks."