Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for Has Dancing With The Stars Asked Joe Paterno To Appear On Next Season's Edition?
Joe Paterno was presented with the Penn State team ball on his 84th birthday last December 21.

HOLLYWOOD - This year's Dancing With The Stars is down to the semi-finals with four contestants left, Ricki "Great" Lake, Rob "The Male" Kardashian, Hope "Going" Solo, and J.R. "The Soldier" Martinez.

Legal analyst Nancy "Graceless" Grace was eliminated this past week partly due to the fact that while she and her partner Tristan McManus were dancing to "The Theme From The Twilight Zone" she accidentally slipped on some pumpkin seeds that someone had thrown onto the dance floor.

David Arquette, who was eliminated the week before and who was sitting in the audience, was asked by the shows host Tom Bergeron if he knew anything about the pumpkin seeds being thrown on the dance floor?

Arquette told Bergeron he had no idea and told him to ask Chaz Bono who is still mad at Bruno Tonioli, the Gaytalian judge for having said during the different show performances that Chaz looked like an ewok, a penguin, a munchkin on steroids, and a spray tanned jack-o-lantern.

When Bergeron approached Chaz (who is a transsexual) and asked him about the pumpkin seeds Chaz told him to leave her alone. Bono quickly corrected himself and said that he did not mean to say her and that he meant to say him.

The shows producer Bernadette Penderlicki was asked by Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight if the rumor that DWTS has asked the 84-year-old fired Penn State football coach Joe Paterno to appear on the show next season was true.

Penderlicki replied that not only was it not true, but that it was absolutely, positively not effen, friggin, freakin, true.

In other news. Herman Cain reportedly confided to a reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk that he now wishes that he had just stayed on as CEO of Godfather's Pizza and kept his black butt out of the political arena and avoided the wrath of the half dozen or so white blondes that are acting as if he was Kanye West, Chris Brown, and Tracy Morgan all rolled into one old brutha.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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